Senioritis: Overwhelmed

I don't mean to do it, but I am constantly treading water.


I wish that were a literal statement, especially in the holiday season of eat-all-ya-want-workout-later, but in every other area of my life, my life seems to sink under the water.
I'm not whining; I'm just stating a fact.
The problem with this fact is that I'm the only one to blame. I pile tasks on myself like they're nothing, but at the end of the day, I don't have much progress to show for that pile. I may have knocked ten tasks off of my to-do list, but I am still not nearly close to the end of it, making the to-do list for the next day even longer.


That is probably the best way I have ever described the weight of being overwhelmed, and let me tell you, it's no fun. I like to have my hands in everything, I like to be everywhere with everyone doing everything, but I am one person who can be in one place at one time.
Boo.

I have a lot of decisions coming up. I have a lot of papers that are due. I have a lot of responsibilities that I am currently avoiding for the simple fact that I don't know if I can pull myself away from my task at hand to go pray about those decisions and to go write those papers. This blog is actually one of those marks off of my to-do list.


I understand now why seniors drop out during the last semester in college. I understand now why Kenny Fickling hardly ever came to class his last semester--yes, I just put him on blast, but I'm sure he won't mind; it's the truth. I understand why planning a wedding during one's last semester is the worst idea ever--no, I'm not planning a wedding, and Aaron was wise to not ask me to plan one.
I simply want to lie on the couch in my long sleeved flannel and sweat pants, flip on a movie, and eat popcorn for weeks on end. After three and half years of pushing myself toward papers and perfection, I deserve it.


Instead, I'm gonna go pray. Cliche? Nah, I just know that I don't know how to keep myself afloat, but the good Lord does. I need a little peace and clarity in my mumble-jumbled head.

And I'm gonna eat cookies and cream ice cream, just in case you wanted to know.